China Taxicab Chronicles 7: Lonely Mr. He

A single older gentleman shares his thoughts on ceramics, Shanghai, Chinese New Year, and preserving traditions

This is an edit of a Twitter thread original posted on Febuary 21, 2023. It has been revised slightly for long-essay format.

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Mr. He picks me up in Shanghai on my way to the maglev station. I think he looks to be in his late 50s. It's 7am and I'm pulling a suitcase, clearly heading to the airport.

"Hello, foreign friend. Are you going home for the Spring Festival?"
“No, I'm leaving on a business trip for a few days. I already finished my New Year holiday.”

"In Shanghai?"
"No, in my wife's hometown, in Hubei. Ezhou City."
"Ohhh Ezhou City. I know it. It's close to Wuhan."

"That's right. Are you from Hubei? Many people don't know Ezhou".
"I am familiar with it. But I'm from Jiangxi. Jingdezhen. You know it?"
"Of course, it's China's ceramics capital."

"Ah, even foreigners know Jingdezhen ceramics."
"Yes. I suppose most people living there have jobs in ceramics? I've never heard of anything else made in Jingdezhen..."

"Yes, that's right. The biggest industry in Jingdezhen is ceramics. Also many people come to Jingdezhen to work in ceramics, like artists. You know, there are two ways to paint ceramics...with a print mold, or by hand. Of course the hand painting requires a lot more labor."

"I guess hand-painted ceramics are more expensive?"
"Not necessarily. It depends on the skill of the artist. If it's a regular artist, it might be cheap. If city-level or provincial level artist, it's more. And for national-level talent, it could be many 10s of thousands."

"You seem very familiar with ceramics. Did you work in that industry before? Or does everyone from Jingdezhen know this stuff?"
"No, I just know many people working in this area. Because of them, I've visited some ceramic kilns, factories, and painting shops."

"Did you go to Jingdezhen to celebrate the New Year?"
"No...I just stayed in Shanghai. I've lived here for many years already..."
"Oh, that's too bad. Do you like Shanghai?"
"No, not at all. I really don't like Shanghai."
"Why not?"
"Ah...how to put this...?"

"Shanghai is very materialistic. They are only concerned about making money. You can't even trust your friends. They would screw you over in business to make money. They don't understand brotherhood here. ("他们不讲义气"). This is different in small cities like Jingdezhen."

"So why do you still stay in Shanghai?"
"I've been here a long time, so I'm used to it. And I'm getting old now, so I can't do other types of work, but driving is a good job at my age, because it's not hard labor. I'm almost ready to retire you know. I was born in 1964."

"Oh, I see. Yes, you're very close to retiring. So when you retire, will you move back to Jingdezhen, or stay in Shanghai?"
"I'll go back to Jingdezhen. Shanghai is not a suitable city to live in your sunset years. (不适合养老) It's only good for making money."

"Why did you come to Shanghai in the beginning then? Just to find a job?"
"Yeah. I used to work in a factory in Jiangxi making medicine. But the factory closed during the Reform and Opening Up period. So I came to Shanghai to find work. After that, I never left."

"What about your family? How old are your kids?"
"No kids. I'm not married. I'm still single."
"Oh, really. Then how about friends? Do you have friends in Shanghai?"
"I have a few. Other drivers, like me. They are also not from Shanghai. We sometimes eat dinner together".

"Then if you are in Shanghai during Chinese New Year, do you spend the holiday together with your friends? It's not very lively, to eat the New Year's dinner by yourself…"
"I go to my brother's house for New Year's dinner. He is also in Shanghai, with my mother, so I eat there. He wanted me to stay at his house for a few days, but I didn't want to. He has his own life, and his own family, so I don't want to disturb him. So I just ate dinner and then I left. I also have another brother here, but he went to his wife's hometown in Henan for the holiday."

"That sounds quite lonely. You really can't feel any New Year's spirit like that."
"That's true. It doesn't feel like the New Year (没有年味). If you are in a small city, it's so lively, you can really feel the Chinese New Year spirit, not like Shanghai. There are many new year's traditions. When the new year starts, it means the dragon arrives. To welcome the dragon, we will set off firecrackers. If we stop lighting firecrackers, the dragon will leave, so we can't stop for 15 days, until the end of the holiday. It's bad luck to allow the dragon to leave before 15 days, so you have to keep going. Does Ezhou do this?” he asks me curiously.

"No...they have different traditions in Ezhou. I guess every place has different traditions. But in Shanghai, you can't light firecrackers. This is a common trend now in many cities. It's for the air pollution."
"Yes, but it's shame. Shanghai really has no new year's spirit."

"In my hometown, you will go to someone's home to eat New Year's meal, and then the neighbors will see you are eating there, and they will try to drag you to come and eat in their home also. Everyone eating and drinking together. It's a warm environment. But in Shanghai you can't feel this at all. Actually Shanghai used to have this, but lost it. Shanghai lost many of its own traditions. Children in Shanghai don't speak Shanghainese anymore. If you don't even speak your own language, how can you say you are from that place?"

"Do children in Jingdezhen speak the language from Jingdezhen?"
"Of course, they can speak it. We cannot lose our language like that. Shanghai is like America. America is an immigrant country and so people slowly lose their traditions. Shanghai is also an immigrant city, also losing its traditions."

"Someday, when you have a child, you must tell your child about your background and culture. You must say 'Mama is from Ezhou. It's a pretty city with a long history on the big Yangtze River. And Daddy is from America...and then tell them about America. They must be able to speak their own language, and understand their own culture and traditions. Make sure they know this, so they know what it means to be a person from that place. They should know who they are. You must tell them."

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We’ve arrived at the station and so I say goodbye as I head in to catch the maglev. I wish I'd had time to ask him more questions about himself. Maybe I should have had him bring me to the airport instead, so we’d had more time to chat together. At the time of writing, this conversation took place several days ago, and I've thought of Mr. He several times since then.

I thought the contrast between a man who treasures tradition so much, with a passion to preserve it, and yet is unable to find a partner and start a family to pass his own traditions to the next generation was quite sad. I would have liked to ask him about that, but maybe it would have been too personal of a subject. Sometimes, these conversations are interrupted mid-stream when we arrive at the destination, leaving too many questions unasked, too many potential topics untouched.

I noted when said he's unmarried, he said "I'm still single" (我还是单身的). It struck me as a curious phrasing for someone of his age, like he's still hoping to find someone. It makes me sad to think about it. I hope the Jingdezhen that he eventually retires to doesn't disappoint him like Shanghai has.